How Do I Forget Someone Whom I Once Loved Deeply ? | Ep.#5



You don’t and you won’t! Can I just keep it real here please!  You will never forget someone whom you once loved deeply.

Although it may take some time, you will eventually get over the loss but one thing is for certain,   you will never forget.

That’s just not going to happen.

Here is why, let me explain.     How can you forget those moments when you experienced extreme joy in your life or intense disappointment (hurt or pain)?  Unless you fall, hit your head and lose your memory, those life experiences will stay with you, and may I add, probably for a life time, depending on the severity.

I loved me some Kevin.  I knew I was going to marry Kevin and have 3 or 4 of his babies. No one could tell me differently, until the day, I walked in Kevin’s mother house and saw him all hugged up on the couch with my buddy Denise. I was angry, livid, you name it, I was it. I saw red.

After cussing them both out, I left without throwing one punch, furious and hurt.  There were no clues or any writing on the wall about the secret relationship between Kevin and Denise, except my younger sister who came straight home and told me after just leaving Kevin’s mother’s house.

The experiences from relationships, whether good or bad, caused emotional changes to occur within us.  These changes will either serve us by bringing forth happiness or disserve us by delivering disappointment.

It is these changes that are written first in your memory and then transferred on your heart.  Your heart will heal, but your memory will not permit you to forget. Needless to say, I did not marry Kevin nor did I have any of his babies.

To this day, although I’m well over the hurt and disappointment, I still remember Kevin. I was 17 then and I’m 54 now.  Our experiences become life lessons that change us, which we cannot forget.   At the end of the day,
you just have to decide if you will learn from life experiences or keep repeating the lessons.


No way!    You will never forget the person you once loved deeply, especially, if the experience was a huge disappointment.  Let me explain.

Lana and I were dating and it soon turned to love  in a matter of months.
We enjoyed each other and shared some really fun times together.    Then everything changed…

I started to notice little things happening which raised some red flags.  We often talked and shared how we felt about each other  but then I noticed it became one sided. I would say, “I love you” and in return receive a “thank you” or “likewise.” I then noticed my introductions were never “Hi, this is my boyfriend Lionel,” it was always “this is my friend Lionel.” I’m here to tell you that there is a significant difference between a friend and a boyfriend.

A boyfriend (or girlfriend) is someone you build a committed relationship with; where a friend is someone that just occupies your time. Imagine this,   imagine flying out for a short visit to see Lana and two days into the visit, Lana dropped a bombshell on you. Telling you she had a visitor, whom she met during your absence, and before she knew it they were locking lips.

Well, she did not say locking lips, but that was my thoughts. I know a kiss may not seem like much, but what man wants to hear about their girlfriend kissing another man; especially when they have deep feelings for her.  See, in my mind, I was the boyfriend, but she was unaware of it or she did not care. The thought of me flying out to see Lana, who really didn’t care about me, was devastating. I endured the visit and returned home knowing this so called relationship, was over. Yes, you definitely get over it, but you will never forget the person whom you once loved deeply; whether the experience is good or bad.  So if you’re in a relationship with a special person and they refer to you as a friend; you may want to have a serious conversation with that person; so you both can get clear of your roles, or you should start looking for someone else. The bright side of this story is, years later I met the love of my life and we’ve been happily married for 22 of the 26 fun, loving years.


Like it? Share with your friends!

Kim Grimes